so i don't hate my mom. i'm just mad she's stalkin' me like a hawk now. but i got away to purge so maybe she's not so worried because she knows i'm eating, sorta. i have to show her i can eat whatever i want whenever i want. because honestly, i do. the only time i'm hungry is in class. at home i drink coffee and smoke and i'm not hungry. but i got lean cuisine meals i'm going to eat in front of her this week sometime to show her i'm a big girl and i can feed myself. i actually am dying to have one. chicken alfredo :D my fave.
so this week we're running in gym tomorrow and thursday (actually every week..) :) AND i'm riding tomorrow. AND I'M 139 AGAIN. i think i'm a steady 140. i should keep it this way til i have a physical because i know i'm getting one soon but i just love losing! i can't stop. or, i can't stop trying. and i love being empty. it's become a passion. the awkward silences in class when my stomach grumbles is kinda funny too :) ah but i should be careful because i can't have my mom bein' all "are you eating? .. okay well are you throwing up afterwards?" and then BAM i'm in a hospital for .. forever.
picture day tomorrow! ahhh. wearin' my new size 6 hot red jeans (they're actually kinda big but the 4's don't like to fit my hips...), 34C bra and one of my mom's cute little shirts :) kudos to myself for results.
so y'know how you may keep people around in your life just cuz you hate to get rid of them even if they're not exactly your favorite person? well i've noticed i've got rid of a few of those people. i'm not bothering to make new friends. if they wana be friends with me that bad, then fine. and i'll talk to people but nothing "let's hang out" worthy. i'm usually such a heart warming social butterfly. i'm now just a cute little butterfly. yes. cute, little butterfly. i know i'm adorable and i use it to get everything i want from people hahaha. i'm not a bitch or a slut when i use my cuteness, i just get people to do me stuff. lol, i'm so lazy :) i'll be like "awww... well, *bat eyes*will you do this for me? i mean *giggle* it would mean alot to me" hahahaha.
anywaysssss. i'm 139. have to show my mom i can eat. fasting til i have to do that..
stay strong girls <3
Kudos to you all the way! Way to go! And thanks for bein my buddy! Are you in the US? If you are, I bet we can text. Let me kno! (:
ReplyDeleteah, sorry about your mum following you, I've had it, it can be a pain in the neck!
ReplyDeletestay strong, you can do this!
Are those Lean Cuisine meals any good? How many Calories are in most of them? Sorry for all the questions; i'm just obsessed with diet foods. Lol.
ReplyDelete139 is awesomeness :) And so is being cute and getting people to do stuff for you (i've used that trick too and it's so great.)