Then I got home and my mom made some beef pastry thing for her boyfriend and me and my brother scorfed it all down! I had a ton of water in between each bite so I could dispose of it in the shower but it was hard to get it all up. I got most of it, I think. Then I took some laxatives. 2. And I had a piece of cheesecake.
I pray to god that was worth it because I worked so hard today and I just ruined it. I think I have to go to work with my mom tomorrow and she'll totally force me to eat. I've actually been a steady 144 today. I usually get back to 145 by night time if I'm 144 in the morning, just becuase my period and the scale are working together to ruin my life.
I love hunger! I want it back! I have control. But, I had to control my mom's thoughts about me eating like a normal person.
THIS IS WHERE I NEED TO BE!
I want those legs :(
oh you are still in control :)
ReplyDeletei need those legs too!