so i hate to let you guys down if that's what i'm doing, but i have to eat. i lost too much too fast andin gym we run at least a mile every tuesday AND thursday. i'm going to change the plans. i'm gona eat once a week if i really need it. and i do, today. i love that i was dizzy and weak today but not while i was running a mile. i sprinted half of it and jog/walked the rest. i weeze when i run and if i hear myself (not listening to music like i have to), i hypervenelate. and with nothing in my system at all, i'll faint and be sent to a hospital, and later sent to a mental hospital for ana.
..i'm doing this so i can stay out of a hospital and stay on my feet.
i hope i still encourage you girls. to be honest, i'm not even hungry.
what i do eat though, i will purge (that's just how i am. it's become a sin not to)
and i'll take laxatives.
i'm not gona risk gaining weight though. :) stayin' skinny!
ps. today i couldnt hit the scale but i'm pretty damn sure i'm 140. 146 3 days ago..
miracle, eh? :D
be storong ladies =]
love you all!
Hey, that's ok. Completely logical reason to eat, and you're certainly still in full control of it. You're definately still an encouragement.
ReplyDeleteI must tell you not to purge. Please. You'll run it all off with those miles in gym class, and purging is so very bad for you.
Stay strong but do be safe, darling.