Inspire me. Help me.

I'll make this one short. - (sortaa)

Today, went to the barn. Didn't ride. Rian. Mud fight with friend.
Didn't go for 2+ mile walk. Couldn't say goodbye.
No food. Cigs and coffee.

I feel like giving up. Not on Ana, oh God no! She's my best friend. Just, give up in general. Today I just felt all .. 'no will' and stuff. Bummer days I guess.
I have a friend coming over tomorrow night. Yay. But.. she eats CONSTANTLY so I'll have to keep feeding her.. Not eating til Tuesday 'cause I'm fasting along with a pal. Oh, and I'm back down to 145 lbs! Not so exciting. I've seen the number before. Finally recovered from the stupid dinner last night though.

I'm riding Tuesday night so I'll burn alot. Then going to the bitch-friend's house for a few days, it's her b-dayyy. She always has awesome food! .. Oh help me. TIPS?! I seriously need a pal I can talk to constantly. the evil voice in my head is enough to scare me but not if I have my laxatives, which I always do, but I'm running low, can't steal too much from my mom at a time. My scary voice is always there, but I need someone else to tell me "you're gross. don't touch it!"

Prolly won't blog much 'til Thursday? Friday? Eh... other than tomorrowww.

May the Strength be with me. .. haha, I made myself giggle :)