TellingLiesPlayingGames.

I'm ashamed to say I did not fast this weekend.
Scared to weigh my sins, I cannot calculate my grossness.

I saw a picture of a girl today. She had a rather lovely shattered smile stretched upon her face. Her eyes had a shine but behind them, there was no hiding the fact that it's all a charade. There was a mystery to her, something broken. This girl was me. I stared and stared and stared. I had no idea who this girl was. I can look in the mirror and say I don't know who I'm looking at. I don't know who I am anymore.

I feel it happening. I lived in Zombieland today but it was easy to get through the day telling lies and playing games. I even escaped going out to the family dinner. I didn't take anything for the hunger today, it's almost like it was never there. I've become ignorant to what my body wants and needs.

My pill intake is increasing. Just a few more candies to make it all go away. Just a few more pretty colors melting in my tummy, the only things keeping me moving. I've reached 15 candies a day, sometimes more. To sleep, to think, to fuel, to wake up, to burn calories, to empty fluids, to function the brain. I've set Morgan aside and let Zombie shift herself into autopilot. Where did I go? Zombieland has got me stuck, held captive. There is no escape. The darkness is finding me.

Empty.Empty.Empty.Empty.Empty.Empty.Empty.Empty.Empty.
0 calories.
0 bites.
0 sins.
Skinny thoughts <3