Darkness Consumes

Day 3 begins.
133 and not happy enough.
Death is locked in on my coordinates.

This is only day 3. Why do I feel like I'm dying? The darkness is all around me and my stomach is making noises at me. I'm weak and can't keep myself moving. Moving in general is hard. How am I going to help decorate for Christmas? That takes so much work. So much strength I don't have.

My brain is soggy like cereal left in the milk far too long. My stomach swallows itself whole the way a snake takes its victims. My throat bleeds of acidic breaths. I'm letting my muscles suffer alone, soon enough withering away to slivers of pink meat. Stuck in the frozen state for the body and mind, this winter weather is only holding me up. Holding me still. Making me fragile.

Time passes and it's getting harder to fall asleep. Once more, about to rely on pills for every day functions. Breathe, walk, drive, think, move, speak, sleep. A pretty little candy for each. Sometimes even two or three. The doses are increasing.

Hding is getting easier. I curl up in the corners of my clothes with space to spare. Hiding, creeping, sneaking about and I can only hope no one sees. I'm getting good! I'm being an Ana Angel! Curse the soul who tries to turn me bad. I can't. I can't betray. I need to be light enough for the winter winds to take me away.

Skinny thoughts <3