I haven't posted in what feels like years! I'm sorry guys.
135 and I want to kill myself.
I hate being stuck.
So I noticed a pattern. I seem to eat when life feels okay. And guess what's making me feel mentally better? The boyfriend. What? Boyfriend? Making life feel so much better? Wild. I know. He's so freaking amazing. He knows all my secrets and sins. The cutting, starving, purging - all of it. Yet, he makes me feel like a queen and so deserving of everything. ...I love him. So much.
I haven't fasted in a while, but I begin today. Today was success and it feels so good. So clean. I've missed it. I just hope it doesn't turn me into a zombie again.
Tomorrow is an early release and my parental units don't know. Leaving school at almost 12 to be with the boyfriend for three and a half hours. Possibly more. Stunning. I'm ecstatic. <3
I've fallen so far in love with my boyfriend and he doesn't even know. That's his Christmas present. (:
And Fall Out Boy. The truest love of them all is music and FOB really does it right.
Skinny thoughts<3
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