Sleep is good. Maintaining isn't good enough.

Today was a disaster. I pick up my bff and we go to school. I leave her to go to my class and suddenly I'm overtaken by extreme sadness. People in class were trying to talk to me and get my attention; I ignored them. I wasn't doing any of my work. I just wanted to run away. One kid especially, was dumb. He kept calling and calling my name. Obviously, I can hear him. Obviously, I'm ignoring him. I can't hold it in any longer and I yell "I'm not FUCKING deaf!" So glad the teacher didn't care..
Then second period. I had a test I didn't feel prepared for even though I studied. I already have watering eyes as it is, and when the teacher puts the test on my table - the waterworks begin. But suddenly, I hold it all back. I force myself to focus long enough to take the test and then I ask to go to the bathroom. I was in there for at least 20 minutes. I cried and cried and cried. My body and mind literally hurt. I couldn't handle myself. I go back to class and the rest of the time was a lecture.
I go to my third period, the only class I have with my boyfriend. I walk in and sit. Apparently I had an expression on my face that made everyone think I was the walking dead. My boyfriend stayed as far away from me as possible and even the teacher asked if I was okay. My response: silence.
My last period, I walk in and sit. I almost attempt to do my work but I just start crying again. I cry so much I cry myself to sleep.

I had been texting my mom all day about how I was feeling and begging her to call the school and let me out. She makes me suffer. Painfully. I'm with my ana bff after school and we google all of what's wrong with me so I can fix it - sleep deprivation. I'm so dumb. I require so much sleep and I haven't been sleeping more than a couple hours a night, can't believe I didn't think of it before.

Still 133 and I had to eat today. Well, I was forced.
The darkness was taking over and I could barely walk. I actually had trouble breathing and my eyes wouldn't focus. And I feel it'll help with my body temperature problems. Though I can happily say I wasn't hungry and it was the hardest thing I've done all week. Food is gross, pointless, nasty.
-Few bites of a chicken gyro
-Bites of some giant noodle thing stuffed with cheese inside and outside an slight sauce
-4 crackers
And now I feel obese. No food 'til I really hit the ground.

I'm so tired I wanna cry again. Goodnight my loves.
Stay skinny <3