QUICK! HELP!

QUICK! TIPS ON HOW TO GET THROUGH A HUGE DINNER?!

No one suspects anything of me yet, though I knew my mom senses something. She always knows about something, somehow. Maybe I've given off hints, hiding with quick lies.

Tomorrow night we're having a huge dinner with my brother's girlfriend's family. But, adults and kids in seperate rooms! Sweet. I do have to eat, however. Enough so that no one says anything. Oh but there's gonna be cheesecake! I think my mom said something about chicken. Any black person is a sucker for some chicken! :) Even if it's only 55% of me.

Possible plans:

1. Think of a good, "not feeling well today" lie and eat yogurt and crackers to get Mom off my back

2. Continue to fast, take a laxative and eat as little as possible

3. Run away and have my ana all to myself in peace

Okayy, so number 3 is extreme. But sometimes I just want to crawl away and starve for weeks on end. Come out to get 5 crackers and coffee and cigarettes every now and again.

I KNOW I CAN STAY STRONG. I know for a fact I can do this and I won't let myself down. I can't take any pills to keep myself from stuffing my face though, no matter what, the food is still gonna taste like an un-heard-of Heaven. My "no" strength is going to have to be at the top of it's game tomorrow. I want 145 within the next 2 days or I'm moldy trash.

I won't let this happen.

Think Thin.