130 stuck. That's okay.
Slept 90% of my weekend away.
I turned out to be everything everyone doesn't want me to be.
I'm an individual and my mother doesn't accept it.
I'm a pot head and my boyfriend doesn't like it.
I'm anorexic but my state of health tells me I shouldn't be.
It hurts being asked to not be a part of who you are.
It hurts worse once you find your self worth again and the people you love are breaking it back down. I'm finding myself in this world and everything that catches my eye turns everyone away from me.
I could be 70lbs and perfect and I could still never be accepted.
But my weight could kill me and I'd die happy.
I'd rather leave a pretty corpse.
A flawless one
Why am I not allowed to be me?
And I can't say these things to anyone because every one of my pretty little secrets would slip out one way or another. And now Casey thinks I'm stealing her boyfriend? Between not being allowed to be myself and being accused of such bullshit, I'm a tad bit broken. A heart sunken feeling that lasts for days starts hurting the rest of your body. I stopped gauging my ears because it's not "accepted." I stopped smoking pot because my boyfriend doesn't "like" it. I'll morph back into 'normal' or whatever normal is supposed to be and continue hating it.
I can only love myself when I'm every part of who I am.
A lot of me is bring taken away.
<3 if i'm not allowed to be me
i don't know if i want to be here
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