Monday, January 17, 2011

done.done.done.done.SO DONE.

I'm not taking any pills for the next month.
None. Zero. Nothing.

I purged last night.
I broke down arguing with my mom this morning.

I'm so done.
Done with the half way double life.
Done with the pain and fear
Done being on the brink of death
Done crying myself to sleep
Done hating myself for the things I have to do in recovery
Done not having a choice
Done feeling like I'm at this alone
Done facing every day like it's my last, 'cause it really could be..

I just want this to all be gone.
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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousSaturday, February 19, 2011 10:13:00 PM

    Hello girls I have returned to blogger after trying to lose weight the healthy way and developing a better mental health I gave up I threw it all away to become "Delicate!!" Threw all my hard work away so I could eat from one extreme to another, to get to my goals quicker!! As many of us do we give up and think it will be easier and quicker to try a stupid diet which you only end up binging and back to square one!!

    I am ashamed of my choices and want to continue down my path of being healthy!! I can not believe I nearly threw it all away!! I have decided to give it my all 100% and nothing less!! I will reach my GOALS but in a HEALTHY way!!

    I too want to look great in a Bikini, in that Little Party Dress, in those CK Jeans but I want to ROCK them without feeling GUILTY, without LYING to all those around me and to not be KILLING MYSELF in the process!! I want to look HOT in ULTIMATE HEALTH and HAPPINESS, I want to have AWESOME SELF ESTEEM and I want to ROCK CONFIDENCE!! I want to earn the JOY of achieving HEALTH - HAPPINESS - SELF ESTEEM and CONFIDENCE the right way not the wrong way!! I want this more than anything in LIFE and I am going to get it !! It is now or never, there is no looking back!! Please support me and I will return the favor!! I choose to follow girls with distorted eating as I feel they understand what I am going through compared to "normal eating" girls they just think I am crazy!!

    http://never----ever----give----up.blogspot.com/2011/02/one-place-to-another.html

    I am putting this every where because I know I will influence at least one person out in this great big world to never give up and to keep trying!!

    ReplyDelete

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