so i'm broken inside and out. my body aches and calls for food. with my sudafed it messes with me and i can easily deny it. it's killing me and i'm struggling hiding this from my mom and everyone else. EVERYONE has commented on how skinny i am. i don't see it or feel it. and the scale tells me 133. i feel gross. i'm wasting space in the halls of school and taking up all the room in my full size bed so that my cat doesn't fit.
but i feel so strong and alive. i'm on the brink of passing out from dehydration and starvation and i love it. it's the high if my life and Ana is the 2nd best thing that's happened to me. my horse will alway be number one. < 3
133. prolly gona start losing next week? i can hide it from my mom. i can. i will.
i have to...
<3stay.strong.
I know just what you mean. So many people, both in the blog world and in the outside world have told me i'm skinny and a twig and all those lovely things that i want to be, but i've never been able to see it either. Maybe someday we shall? Stay strong, and follow your dreams, love.
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